Life with Wanda

Just call me “Wanda”

While most people may find it strange that I call/refer to my mother by her first name, let me just say that this is something SHE started years ago.

Wanda was a young mother, so we are closer in age than your average mother/daughter. (But don’t get me wrong, our relationship was far from a “Gilmore Girls” situation. Growing up I never saw her as my peer but very much my mother in every sense of the word.) But when I was about 20 or 21 years old, while attending an after work networking party, I made the fateful mistake of calling out “mom!!” in a room full of people that otherwise assumed that my companion for the evening was my older sister rather than my mother. Never losing a beat and always quick with wit, my mother gently leans over and whispers, “just call me Wanda”.

That night was the beginning of what I like to call my “Sybil” relationship with my mother. Sybil… you know… the 1976 made-for-tv movie starring Sally Field as a woman plagued with multiple personalities. Yes, like Sybil, my mother has multiple (okay, 2) personalities. There is “Mom”, the mothering, loving, protective, overbearing, sometimes frustrating woman who brags about me endlessly and thinks she knows what is best for me and isn’t afraid to say it.

And then there is “Wanda”… Wanda is a rebel. She is the passionate, spontaneous, free, outspoken woman who doesn’t think twice about asking her daughter if she is a screamer and encourages her to have sex first thing in the morning because (I quote) “its a good way to start your day”.

For the novice, it may be confusing to know which one of Sybil’s personalities you are talking to because she is known to sometimes quickly jump from one personality to the next. Myself, as a seasoned veteran, am usually clear on which personality is presenting itself. But I am sometimes frustrated that the personality before me is not the one with whom I wish to speak and I am therefore tasked with the job of asking Sybil to present the alternate personality. Its simple really. All I have to do is say “Sybil, can you please let me talk to (insert either “Wanda” or “Mom” here)?”

If I am to be completely honest, I have to admit that I often prefer to talk to Wanda. She is the most interesting person I have ever met. And over the next few posts, I think you will come to agree.

July 17, 2009 - Posted by The daughter | Mothers and Daughters