Life with Wanda

F*#% UP, not down

Throughout the course of modern times, mothers have advised their daughters on how to find a husband, saving their chasity for their wedding nights and staying away from bad boys. The advice of most mothers is simple and they say things like, “its just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor man”. This is a mother’s way of saying that while she would prefer for her daughter marry someone she loves, its always better if he has more than loose change in his pocket.

Well Wanda’s advice to me was just as simple but a little more direct and to the point… “if you’re gonna fuck… fuck UP, not down”. She wasn’t necessarily referring to the wealth of my potential suitor but his intelligence, sophistication and home training (the latter being very important).

I can’t quite remember how old I was when she first shared this bit of advice with me, but I remember being old enough to not only understand her intent, but also that I could appreciate that Wanda and I had a unique relationship. A relationship where she could dole advice in a way that was otherwise reserved for her closest girlfriends. Advice that was unemcumbered by the inability of mothers to cross a certain line in order to affectively communicate with their daughters. Wanda wasn’t afraid or shy about her words. They were direct, clear, from the heart and filled with “motherly” love.

July 17, 2009 - Posted by The daughter | advice, Mothers and Daughters | advice, motherly love, relationships, sex